


Worth it

by Strangertd



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Beards (Relationships), Darren's having a bad day, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 13:57:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14978618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strangertd/pseuds/Strangertd
Summary: Darren wonders if he's even worth Chris's affection.





	Worth it

_Every day I see it more._

_I’m not good enough for him. I’m a mess and a burden._

_Loving me comes with baggage, and he doesn’t deserve to have to live with that._

_He says it’s all worth it to him, but sometimes I feel like he’s saying that just to make me feel less like crap._

_I mean, it’s been 8 years and we’re still right where we were in the beginning, only now we live together and we’re legally married._

_He doesn’t need me._

_I only make things worse for him._

_He doesn’t-_

 

“Whatcha writing there, honeybee?” Darren jumps and closes his journal, normally used for songwriting, but more recently used for ranting when needed, and looks up at Chris.

“Just.. songs.” He lies, but his strained eyes and stress-red cheeks tell the truth.

Chris doesn’t fall for it.

“Oh honey…” he says, sitting next to Darren on the bed. As soon as his arms engulf him, Darren bursts into tears that had been bottled up for too long. Chris rubs along his back for a while, soothing Darren as he cries.

“What’s wrong, love?” Chris asks, still rubbing his back and holding his husband close. Darren shakes his head.

“I’m not good enough for you. I just-” He shoves the notebook into Chris’s hands. “Last page.” He mumbles, and Chris opens to the most recent entry and reads. He furrows his brows and sets the book aside, pulling Darren back into his arms.

“Honey, I’m not going to lie. Sometimes I get scary thoughts like that too. Never that you don’t deserve me- not that.” Chris corrects quickly upon seeing the pained look Darren gives him. “No, just like-” He sighs, trying to find the words.

“Sometimes, when you’re far away from me, I wonder if it’s worth it. The pain of being so far away from you and watching you weave together lie after lie and reading countless articles about how much you love your ‘director fiancée’ and shit like that- it hurts. A lot.” Chris pauses to kiss Darren’s temple, in an attempt to soothe his husband’s tears. “But then you come home and we talk and cook together and dance around in our underwear. We watch movies with the dogs and scold Brian when he gets into your dirty laundry and we crawl into bed together. I love you so much, Darren, and I’m not going to stop just because it’s getting hard.”

“But you said it yourself. It’s tearing you apart. Fuck, it’s tearing _me_ apart, Chris. I lost 27 pounds just this year.” Darren sniffles, and Chris rubs his back in firm, loving circles.

“It does hurt me, but look at how much progress we’ve made since the fake engagement. We’ve been seen in public more, talking and hanging out at the same events. We’re winning this game, Darren. A vast majority of the public already knows or at least suspects that you and that woman aren’t truly a couple, and soon they won’t have much more of a story to weave, and you and I will finally be able to break free.” Chris says, brushing Darren’s curls back. Darren smiles wearily and plants a soft kiss to the tip of Chris’s nose.

“Promise?” He asks quietly, and Chris grins, pressing a soft peck to Darren’s lips.

“I promise. We still have a life to live. A family to make. No way I’m letting you get away before we achieve all that.” Chris teases with a smile- but he’s not joking. He wants that with Darren, so much, and he can’t wait for their shitty situation to be over so they can finally move on with their lives.

“You think it’ll happen before you’re thirty?” Darren asks, and Chris smiles wider.

“I think so. And thank you for reminding me that you’re over thirty and I’m not.” Chris jokes, and Darren kisses him, knocking the notebook to the floor as he falls back on the bed, bringing Chris down with him. Things still seem bleak to him, but as long as he has Chris and their fur-babies, everything seems…. okay.


End file.
